Faith Over Fear: Returning to Me

Today, while journaling, I had a moment of clarity that stopped me in my tracks: I abandoned myself just to be chosen.

When we met, we were aligned. I was eating clean, working out, investing in therapy and coaching, loving myself out loud. I was vibrant. Alive. Becoming. My confidence was rising—not because someone else affirmed me, but because I did.

I was glowing from the inside out—making decisions that honored my body, my spirit, my vision. I was discovering what I liked, what felt good on my skin, what made me feel seen. For the first time, I didn’t want to hide. I was choosing me—daily, intentionally, boldly.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped.

Not all at once—but piece by piece.

At first, it looked like a compromise. Then tolerance. Then silence.

Until one day, I looked in the mirror and barely recognized myself.

The girl who once budgeted for self-care and solo dates had started putting herself last. The one who once felt powerful in her presence began playing small. My health took a hit—but truthfully, I was slipping before that. I know my body thrives on discipline, care, and plant-based nourishment. But I stopped listening. I stopped prioritizing me.

And the more I slowed down, the clearer God’s whisper became:

“You forgot about you.”

Love should never feel like holding your breath.

And relationships shouldn’t demand your self-abandonment to survive.

I let patterns go unchecked. I made space for behavior that drained me. I kept trying to hold us together while I was falling apart inside. But attention isn’t alignment. And consistency matters more than charm.

So here I am—standing in the in-between.

Between staying to see if it’ll change, and leaving so I can fully return to myself.

The truth is: I miss myself.

The version of me I was becoming.

And the woman I still am beneath the disappointment.

I chose her. Even scared. Even uncertain. Even if it costs me this relationship.

Because this time, I’m choosing faith over fear.

Faith that what God has for me will never require me to shrink.

Faith that reclaiming myself isn’t a loss—it’s alignment.

Faith that the right love will never dim my light.

So, I let go—softly, but surely.

Not because I stopped loving.

But I finally started loving myself again.

The Mommy Movement is coming. It starts with choosing you.

With grace and truth,

Rissa