This Season, I’m Choosing Me

I’ve spent most of my life waiting to be chosen.

Waiting for a man to see me.

A friend to value me.

A family member to show up for me.

A job to validate my worth.

It’s like I kept holding my breath, hoping someone would finally pick me so I could exhale and feel enough.

I remember once, I followed a boy away to college—convinced that his love would anchor me. And when it all started falling apart, I told my mama, “You threw me in the ocean and never taught me how to swim.” And while there was truth in that statement, I’ve since learned something deeper: you can’t teach what you were never taught. She gave me what she had. And it wasn’t always enough—but I understand now, it wasn’t about blame. It was about survival.

The part that hurt the most? I didn’t know how to give myself what I needed. I expected everyone else to give me the strength to survive because I didn’t believe I had any on my own.

And yet, on the outside? I look like I have it all together.

I’m the high-achieving doctoral student.

The mom who homeschooled her kids.

The one who always “figures it out.”

But internally? That little girl still screams.

She reminds me of every moment I was overlooked.

Every man I dated who chose someone else.

Every friend who disappeared when I needed her most.

Every job I stayed at hoping I’d finally feel seen.

I see now that I’ve spent years people-pleasing, avoiding boundaries, staying silent until I exploded—because I didn’t know how to speak up without breaking down.

But I also know this:

Everyone is fighting their own internal battle.

And it was never their job to choose me.

It was mine.

So this season, I’m choosing me.

Not from a place of bitterness—but from a place of rebirth.

I’m choosing to stop waiting for someone else to validate my worth.

I’m choosing to stop hiding behind success and start living in truth.

Because healing begins the moment we stop outsourcing our identity.

And choosing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s sacred.

👩🏽‍🍼 If this resonates with you, I invite you to join The Mommy Movement.

We’re healing out loud—together.

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