When most people think of trauma bonds, they think of romantic relationships. I did too. But staying at the Housing Authority taught me that trauma bonds can form anywhere — even in the workplace.

I didn’t stay because it was good. I stayed because it was familiar. The chaos, the dysfunction, the constant stress — it mirrored dynamics I had known before. And because it felt familiar, it felt “normal.”

That’s the danger of trauma bonds. They convince you that chaos is safer than change. They convince you that dysfunction is more bearable than the unknown. I wasn’t comfortable — but I was conditioned.

Leaving broke that cycle. It forced me to confront how much I had normalized dysfunction. It made me realize that what I thought was loyalty or resilience was actually a bond to trauma.

The illegal withholding of my paycheck was a harsh but clear sign: this bond was not love, not loyalty, not safety. It was bondage. And it was time to be free.

Through fasting and preparing for baptism, God has been breaking every unhealthy tie — not just relational, but professional, emotional, and spiritual. Freedom means cutting every chain, not just the obvious ones.

Now, I recognize trauma bonds for what they are. And I refuse to let familiarity keep me from freedom again.