There was a time when I would swallow my needs just to keep the peace. I thought if I could avoid rocking the boat, the relationship—whether with a partner, friend, coworker, or family member—would survive. But that survival came at the cost of me shrinking smaller and smaller until my voice barely existed.

This year has been different. I’ve been moving in a season where my voice matters. I’ve spoken up more—in personal conversations, in professional spaces, even in my own home—and I’ve noticed something powerful:

If someone leaves after I speak up, they weren’t staying anyway.

Speaking your needs doesn’t end a relationship—it reveals the truth about it. If the relationship can’t hold space for your truth, then what you had wasn’t as solid as it seemed.

I’ve seen this play out recently in multiple areas of my life. Ending my previous relationship taught me that avoiding discomfort never creates closeness. It just creates a fragile peace. My resignation from my job reminded me that staying quiet to keep stability often means sacrificing joy and growth. And even in friendships, I’ve noticed that the people who are meant to stay don’t run from honesty—they lean into it.

When we withhold our truth, we trade authentic connection for conditional acceptance. But when we speak up, we find out who’s really there for us, not for the version of us that stays silent to make them comfortable.

So, I’m choosing to speak up—not to push people away, but to keep my life filled only with those who can meet me where I am.

Because my voice is not a threat to the right people.

It’s a bridge. And the ones meant to walk across it will.

💬 If this resonated with you, I invite you to join me in The Mommy Movement, where we create safe spaces for mothers to use their voices and be fully seen. Read more reflections like this here: www.thevesseltherapy.com/blog