For a long time, I measured love by how much it kept me on edge.

If my heart raced, if I couldn’t stop thinking about them, if I was constantly trying to figure them out—I told myself it must be deep. It must be real.

But I’ve learned something that changed everything: chaos is not connection.

Looking back, the relationships that felt the most “intense” were also the ones that left me the most drained. The highs were high, but the lows were so low that I spent more time trying to get back to “good” than actually enjoying it. It wasn’t love. It was survival mode dressed up as romance.

Recently, I saw the difference in real time. When the wrong connection left my life, my nervous system finally exhaled. My sleep improved. My mind got quiet. I could think clearly again without rehearsing arguments in my head or walking on emotional eggshells. That’s when I realized—peace isn’t boring. It’s the proof that you’re safe.

And this doesn’t just apply to relationships. I felt it when I left my last job, too. I didn’t even realize how much the environment kept me in fight-or-flight until I was gone. The right people, places, and opportunities won’t make you feel like you have to earn your spot every day.

God’s connections bring calm, not confusion. They make room for you to be fully yourself without fear of punishment or rejection.

If it’s love, you won’t have to question it. And if it’s from God, you’ll know—because your spirit will finally rest.

✨ Inside The Mommy Movement, we explore what it feels like to live from that place of peace, so you don’t mistake chaos for connection ever again. Healing is sacred when it’s shared.

www.thevesseltherapy.com/blog